Every child has the right to protection — at home, at school, and in any environment where they grow up. But, unfortunately, these very environments sometimes become a source of pain. Domestic violence and bullying are different in form, but similar in consequences: both destroy the basic sense of security that a child desperately needs for normal development.
Lawyers from the free legal aid system, together with the International NGO "International Center for Development and Leadership", tell us how adults can identify and counteract violence against children.
It is important to remember: children do not exaggerate, do not «invent» violence, do not «let their fantasies run wild.» They react as they can — through behavior, through their body, through silence. And it is the competent adult who should be the figure who knows how to see, understand, and intervene in time.
A competent adult is someone who:
- notices changes in the child's behavior;
- knows the signs of violence;
- knows how to act — not to harm, but to support.
What is domestic violence — and why it affects children, even if they are not «touched»
When physical, moral or other harm is systematically inflicted by those closest to you, it is likely a situation of domestic violence. In this case, a child is considered a victim of domestic violence, even if he or she is only a witness to it. When he or she lives in a house where there is screaming, there is physical or sexual violence, even if it is not directed directly at him or her.
Signals that should not be ignored
Living in constant tension and fear puts a child's brain into "anxiety mode." In this state, it's hard to play, learn, trust, or dream. Instead of learning about the world, a child constantly scans it for danger.
What signals may indicate that a child is experiencing domestic violence?
- Younger children have sleep problems, night terrors, tearfulness, and enuresis.
- Schoolchildren experience feelings of guilt, difficulties with learning, and physical complaints.
- In adolescents, there is withdrawal, self-harm, conflicts, and alcohol/psychoactive substance use.
It is known that repeated violence affects not only the psyche, but also physical health, and even changes the structure of the brain. As a result, the child can suffer complex developmental trauma.
How to act to help your child
If you become aware that a child is systematically witnessing domestic violence or is being subjected to it, report it to:
- the children's service of the locality where the child lives;
- or the National Children's Hotline 0 800 500 225;
- to the National Domestic Violence Hotline 116 123 or 0 800 500 335 (calls are free);
- or to the police 102.
Every child can receive free legal aid from a lawyer or advocate from the state legal aid system. Lawyers can explain the child's rights, how to act in a specific case of their violation, and, if necessary, will represent the child in court to protect them from violence.
How to apply to the BPD provision system:
- by phone 0 800 213 103;
- write a private message to Telegram or on the system pages in Facebook or Instagram;
- to the nearest legal aid office.
Bullying: how to recognize and counteract it
Bullying differs from conflict in its systematic nature, the presence of parties (offender, victim, observers), and the intentionality of actions to cause harm.
It can take different forms and manifest itself offline or in the digital environment as:
- ridicule, ignoring, aggression;
- pushing, bodily injury, damage to clothing or personal belongings;
- distribution of degrading content on the Internet.
When a child becomes the target of bullying — humiliation, pressure, or aggression in an educational environment — they may not always say it directly. But their behavior changes.
Signs that a child may be suffering from bullying include:
- withdrawn or overly aggressive
- reluctance to go to school
- declining grades, loss of interest in favorite activities
- attempts to avoid communication, fear of being alone
Where to go for help
If your child has been bullied or you become aware of such a situation, please contact:
- to the head of the educational institution - he is obliged to respond to cases of bullying;
- to the police - especially if there is a threat to life or health.
Bullying is punishable by administrative fines ranging from UAH 850 to UAH 3,400 or community service. Repeated offenses carry greater penalties.
More about forms of violence, their signs and indicators, and how to respond to them — in the course "From Risk to Resilience: Working with Families in Crisis" for professionals working with children and families in difficult life circumstances: https://surl.li/lxntjj